Cold hands, warm shart.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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