What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
