Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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