If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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