I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
