I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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