you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
