I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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