Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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