Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
