My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I accidentally had phone sex last night
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
