Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
