I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
