why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
