No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Alive.
So much puke
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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