So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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