Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
