I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
