I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
