Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
