Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
