God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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