Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
