well I can't set my house on fire every night
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
