I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
