Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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