margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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