i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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