Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
