Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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