Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
