Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
