butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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