I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
