She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
