last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
