I have demons in me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
