I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The power of my boobs compel you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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