New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
