Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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