this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
