I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
