is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
