There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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