i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
