I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
