He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
