it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
