i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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