how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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